We Are Never There

Issue # 187 - Life Happens Only Now

My granddaughter climbed the dining table and stood tall with pride. ‘Dadu, I am taller than you,’. Her smile reached for the ceiling. She’s four. She wants to grow fast, get taller, get older, become an adult. In her eyes, adulthood is the prize.

That same evening, I sat with an old photo album. A snapshot from my twenties stared back. Thick hair, restless eyes, not a wrinkle in sight. ‘Wo bhi kya din the,’ I muttered. The golden years. But back then? I probably wanted to skip ahead. Be older. Be taken seriously. Be settled.

She and I, across decades, doing the same thing. Chasing time. Escaping now.

We don’t live where we are. We live in what was or what might be.

I see it every day. A couple at a café, barely speaking, lost in screens. A boy at his school farewell party, already planning college. A bride crying, not because of the wedding, but the slideshow of childhood playing on a projector behind her. We mourn the moment before it even ends.

I was in Iceland recently. Snow-covered silence. Beautiful clouds folding over black skies. Breathtaking waterfalls. I should have been breathless. But I was busy taking perfect pictures. Adjusting exposures. Making sure it looked good for later. I came home with beautiful pictures and an empty feeling.

Moments passed me by while I was busy preserving them.

I remember being twelve. No facial hair, but convinced I could grow a moustache if I shaved. I took my father’s razor and dragged it across bare skin. I wanted to rush into manhood. Now? I’d trade days just to be back in a time when all I had to worry about was homework and how to ride a bicycle without falling.

I run most mornings. Same route. Same corner where schoolboys gather at the pan shop. Cigarettes in hand. Schoolbags slung low. Trying to look older, harder, tougher. They want to grow up too fast. Same story. It’s everywhere.

The friend who says, ‘Once this project is done, I’ll take a break.’
The parent filming their kid’s school play, watching it through a screen.

We don’t visit the moment. We pass through it, distracted.

वक़्त के साथ चलते रहे, मंज़िल की फ़िक्र में,
ना ख़ुशी को थामा, ना ग़म से मिले थे सही से हम।
जो पल था, वो हाथों से फिसल गया,
ना कल का था, ना आज में थे हम।

We chase happiness the way we chase heaven. Far away, after everything, in some promised future. We believe we’ll rest then. Smile then. Breathe then. We even imagine heaven after death. A reward waiting on the other side.

But what if heaven isn’t there? What if it’s here? In the smell of food made with love. In a hug held a second longer. In the silence of dawn. In sitting with someone without checking the time.

Maybe that’s why, in so many stories, even after reaching heaven… souls return. Not because this world is perfect. But because heaven was never a place. It was a presence. And we missed it. So we come back. In search of what was always around us. And still is.

If we only stop. Look. Be.

There’s nothing wrong with looking back or dreaming ahead. Memory gives us roots. Vision gives us wings. But if we keep floating between yesterday and tomorrow, we drift past the only place where life ever shows up. Here.

‘To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.’ : Oscar Wilde

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⏮ Missed Last Week? Here's What Hit Home

In case you missed it, last issue I shared how a quiet lunch turned into an unexpected glimpse into teenage dating culture and a reflection on how relationships have changed over time.

Key takeaways:

• Modern dating often sounds more like strategy than connection. What used to be whispered is now discussed openly and transactionally.

• Emotion seemed absent. We heard little about feelings, dreams, or commitment - just categories and convenience.

• It made us reflect on our own journey. Thirty-five years of shared life, slow growth, and real connection felt suddenly rare and even more precious.

• Maybe every generation shocks the last. But some truths endure: love that lasts is built, not swiped.

Thank you for taking out time to read the whole newsletter. We are glad to see you read this message. ☺️

Hope it added value to your wonderful day. If yes, please consider sharing your appreciation on social media and sharing it with anyone who you think might benefit from it.

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Meet you on the Twenty Third Sunday (23/52) of 2025. Take care

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