The actions I undertake to enrich and fulfil my life

Issue #117 (9 min read)

Happiness is something we all want, no matter where we come from or what time we live in. I've discovered a method that consistently brings more joy into my life, creating a stark contrast between fulfilling days and those marked by sadness.

In essence, my approach has significantly tilted the scales in favour of happiness. I'd like to share some of the practices I've incorporated into my routine, contributing to this positive shift.

The role of habits in shaping our happiness is pivotal. Engaging in them daily allows us to mould our experiences and overall well-being. Instead of being a fleeting emotion, happiness emerges as a product of the habits we nurture, the choices we make, and our interactions with the world around us.

Contrary to the idea that happiness is solely a response to external forces, it is our daily habits that wield a considerable influence on its presence in our lives. The actions we take, the attitudes we adopt, and the lens through which we view the world all contribute to the tapestry of our happiness.

Recognising that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for happiness, it becomes essential to explore and adopt habits that resonate with our individual journeys. Here are 5 simple yet powerful habits that have the potential to guide you toward a more fulfilling life:

1. Write Gratitude daily - Gratitude involves taking a moment to reflect on the things you appreciate, redirecting your attention from what you lack to the positive elements present in your life. It serves as a potent force for happiness by encouraging an acknowledgment and appreciation of the positive aspects found in our experiences, relationships, and surroundings.

   

   By cultivating gratitude, you open the door to a cascade of positive effects. It's not just about saying "thank you" but about fostering a genuine appreciation for the good things. This practice has the remarkable ability to reduce stress, elevate your overall well-being, and nurture a positive outlook on life. Gratitude acts as a lens through which you recognise that life is about savouring the simple joys and acknowledging the inherent goodness that surrounds you.

   For over 1000 consecutive days, I've maintained a gratitude journal, jotting down three things I'm thankful for each day. The wealth of evidence I've accumulated over these three years serves as a powerful testament to the consistent occurrence of positive events in my life. When faced with unexpected challenges or moments of sadness, flipping through the pages of my diary becomes a transformative experience, instantly lifting my mood. 

2. Exercise - Engaging in physical activity is a powerful way to release happy chemicals that not only uplift your mood but also work to alleviate stress. Regular exercise goes beyond promoting good health; it is intricately connected to your overall well-being, and this connection plays a significant role in fostering happiness.

   

   The benefits of exercise extend beyond the physical realm. It instils in you a sense of accomplishment as you set and achieve fitness goals. The consistent pursuit of an active lifestyle contributes to a positive self-image, boosting self-esteem and reinforcing a sense of personal achievement. Furthermore, the discipline cultivated through regular exercise becomes a foundational element in the happiness equation.

   Exercise serves as a constant reminder that happiness is not merely an abstract concept but a dynamic state of mind and a tangible physical sensation. Moving your body, whether through a brisk walk, a workout session, or any form of physical activity, becomes a nurturing practice that actively contributes to your overall well-being. As you engage in regular exercise, you become attuned to the interconnectedness of your mental and physical states, recognising that the pursuit of happiness is, in many ways, a journey of movement and self-care.

   I've structured my daily routine to ensure that I dedicate a minimum of 45 minutes, five days a week, to engage in either cardio or strength training exercises. Additionally, I've seamlessly integrated my mobility routine into my morning ritual, ensuring that it becomes an unmissable part of my routine while I'm brewing my coffee. This intentional approach allows me to consistently prioritise physical activity and maintain a healthy and active lifestyle.

3. Letting go of perfectionism in relationship - A crucial stride on the journey to happiness involves not fixating on perfection. Perfectionism, with its unattainable standards, often becomes a source of stress and sets the stage for inevitable disappointment. A better way is to accept your imperfections and those of the people around you. Focus on making progress instead of trying to be perfect all the time.

   

   The pursuit of perfection imposes a heavy burden, fostering a constant sense of stress and inadequacy. The unrealistic expectations set by perfectionism can hinder personal growth and hinder the appreciation of your achievements, no matter how significant they may be.

   Making mistakes is an inherent part of being human. Regularly reminding this offers the freedom to break free from the confines of rigid expectations. 

   Realising that expecting perfection from my wife, sons, and daughters-in-law can contribute to heightened levels of unhappiness, I've come to understand the importance of acknowledging and respecting the differences in our goals and perspectives.

   Everyone brings a unique set of aspirations, priorities, and life objectives to the table. By embracing the diversity of our ambitions, I create room for acceptance and appreciation within our relationships. Rather than imposing my own standards, I strive to understand their distinct paths.  If I insist on my preferred lifestyle, it may lead to tension. Embracing the diversity in my family's lifestyle choices allows for mutual respect and understanding. This way, everyone can contribute their unique strengths to the family dynamic, leading to a more balanced and harmonious household. The bigger goal for everyone is we stay together.

4. Taking a break – Most of us in today’s world are glued to screen for work or entertainment. Embracing periodic breaks from the constant hum of technology and screens is a crucial detour on the journey to happiness. The unceasing digital connectivity that has become integral to our lives can inadvertently amplify stress. In the whirlwind of our fast-paced existence, moments of pause offer a refreshing opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate.

Disconnecting from the virtual world provides more than just a break; it serves as a deliberate strategy to step back from life's major stressors. This intentional pause grants you the chance to gain a new perspective, preventing the looming threat of burnout.

Consider these simple yet effective ways to take a break:

Take a Short Walk: A brief stroll, whether around the office or in a nearby park, can work wonders in breaking the monotony of screen time. The change of scenery and gentle movement contribute to a mental reset.

Take a Deep Breath: Incorporating mindful breathing exercises into your break routine is a powerful way to ease tension and refocus. A few moments of deep, intentional breaths can have a surprisingly calming effect. Physiological sighs work perfect for me. Few rounds of double nasal inhale with a long-extended exhale from the mouth after any bout of focused work calms my system down to para sympathetic mode.

Take a Vacation: Sometimes, a more extended break is needed. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a more extended vacation, physically removing yourself from the usual environment provides the mental space needed for true relaxation. To maintain my sanity and overall well-being, I prioritise taking three to four short weekend breaks and a couple of more extended holidays throughout the year. These intentional breaks serve as vital opportunities for relaxation, rejuvenation, and a reset, ensuring that I am consistently nurturing my mental and physical health amidst life's demands.

Upon returning from your break, you'll likely find a clearer mind and a renewed sense of energy. Prioritising these breaks is not just about momentary relief; it's a conscious effort to ensure that happiness remains an integral part of your life as you navigate the demands and challenges that come your way.

5. Managing time - Mastering efficient time management is a gateway to unlocking additional moments for relaxation, leisure, and pursuing hobbies. This skill is not just about organising your schedule; it plays a pivotal role in shaping your overall happiness. When you adeptly allocate your time, a sense of order permeates your life.

By setting priorities and distinguishing between what is truly important versus what may seem urgent, you gain the ability to reduce stress significantly. This strategic approach prevents you from being drawn into overwhelming and unnecessary tasks or endless meetings that do little to contribute to your overall well-being.

Effective time management is a powerful stress-reduction tool. It empowers you to prioritise your commitments, allowing you to focus on what truly matters. Moreover, the art of time management enables you to live a more fulfilling life. By efficiently organising your schedule, you create space for activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Whether it's spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing personal hobbies, or simply taking a moment for self-reflection, effective time management becomes the key to making the most of each day.

I've consciously crafted a lifestyle that minimises the expenditure of time on trivial matters, steering clear of decision fatigue. Simplicity is my guiding principle—I often wear the same clothes, stick to a consistent diet, and engage in activities that align with my expertise. For tasks beyond my understanding, I enlist the help of experts, ensuring that my time and energy are reserved for endeavours where I can contribute meaningfully and authentically. This intentional approach not only streamlines my daily routine but also allows me to focus on what truly matters, fostering a sense of purpose and clarity in my life.

Happiness is a journey, and these habits can help you. These habits not only promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being but also serve as architects shaping our lives and outlook.  In essence, habits are the guiding lights that lead us to the path of lifelong happiness. Bring in successful routines that has worked for you and match your values and identity. Keep doing them consistently. It’s that simple. 

All illustrations are by Kratika Singhal

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In case you missed the previous issue on reflective questions on authentic living, here are the key highlights:

1. Prioritize authenticity in actions by aligning them with internal values, not external validation or societal expectations.

2. Embrace vulnerability and avoid pretending to be someone else to fit in or conform, as it hinders personal growth.

3. Confront uncomfortable truths and unresolved issues in life for personal growth and authenticity.

4. Differentiate between temporary concerns and enduring values to live authentically with purpose and perspective.

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See you on the fifth Sunday of 2024. Take care!