Roadmap to Realisations: Setting the Right Goals

Issue #113 (7 min read)

Dear friend,

Welcome to the final edition of 2023. Throughout the year, I shared 65 issues of Good Vibes covering various topics for your personal growth. That's over 100,000 words. Crafting these has been an invaluable tool and a constant reminder for my own development. I appreciate your love, support, and the time you've taken to read them. Thank you.

As we bid farewell to 2023, it marks the conclusion of another chapter in our lives. Some of you may have accomplished the goals you set, while others may have encountered detours along the way. It's a reminder that our journey is limited by the approximately 4,000 weeks we are granted in a lifetime. The initial 1,000 weeks often unfold under the guidance and decisions of our parents and family.

However, what sets each of us apart lies in the subsequent weeks. It's during this period that we gain control over our lives, making choices and shaping our destinies.

As we stand at the threshold of a new year, let's reflect on the weeks ahead as an opportunity to chart our own course and distinguish ourselves from the crowd. The chapters yet to be written are ours to shape, and the choices we make will define the narrative of our lives. 

One thing is common we all want to live a fulfilled life. And humans are only fulfilled when they see progress. 

A reflection exercise to end 2023.

Write down on a paper 👇

1. What things bring most joy in life? 

2. How did you divide your time in 2023?

3. Do these align? If not, what can u do to bring more joy and happiness in your life?

"Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible." - Tony Robbins

What specific health and fitness goals are you aiming for?

This question is crucial when embarking on a journey to improve your health. While it may seem simple to answer, many people approach goal setting in a less effective manner.

Typical approach is that individuals state how many kilograms they want to lose, the pant size they desire, the weight they aim to deadlift, or the deadline for appearing photo-ready. However, this approach often falls short.

Proper goal setting involves creating a plan to accomplish your aspirations, making you feel motivated and capable of achieving your dreams. Without knowing how to set goals effectively, you may become lost, confused, overwhelmed, burdened by ‘should’, or distracted by insignificant details. If you happen to succeed with vague or unclear goals, it's likely by chance. 

Mastering the skill of goal setting entails transforming ‘outcome goals’ into ‘behaviour goals’.

• I want to lose 20 Kgs.

• I want that thin-skinned, ripped look.

• I want to binge less often.

• I want to deadlift double my body weight.

Outcome goals describe how we want things to be at the end of the process.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. Or talking about what you want. Or starting with the end in mind. But we can’t stop there.

Wanting things isn’t enough. Even if you really, really, really want them. Why? Because we often can’t control outcomes.

Outcomes are affected by many external factors like:

1. Your job gets crazy busy.

2. Your kid gets sick.

3. Your gym closes because of Covid Lockdown.

4. Someone unwell at home needs your help.

5. Your kids have exams

And they’re influenced by physical limitations like:

1. You get sick.

2. You’re traveling a lot.

3. You’re having problems sleeping.

You get the idea what I mean!

But you can control what you do. That’s why behaviour goals are so important.

They focus on the things we do have control over. Behaviour goals represent your commitment to practice a particular set of actions or tasks every day, as consistently and regularly as possible.

For example, you want to lose weight. Write that down as an ‘outcome’ you want. Now let’s think about all the little steps we can take to move toward that outcome, and which ones should come first. A simple but very effective tool to lose weight is eating slow. It will not shed your weight immediately. But will help you pay more attention to what and how you’re eating. That means over time, you make better food choices easily and effortlessly.

Eating slowly helps you eat a bit less, but still feel satisfied. It helps decrease bloating because now you’re chewing and digesting your food better, which is another plus for losing weight. Since eating slowly helps you eat less, and eating less most often leads to fat loss (not to mention the benefits of better food choices and better digestion), this approach helps turn an outcome (uncontrollable) into a behaviour (controllable).

Here are some additional examples to help you better grasp the concept:

1. Outcome - Improve cardiovascular endurance.
   Behaviour - Engage in aerobic exercises, such as running or cycling, for at least 30 minutes, five times a week.

2. Outcome - Eat healthier.
   Behaviour - Include a serving of vegetables with every meal and limit processed food intake to once a week.

3. Outcome - Increase flexibility.
   Behaviour - Incorporate a daily stretching routine, focusing on major muscle groups, for at least 10 minutes each day.

4. Outcome - Reduce stress.
   Behaviour - Practice mindfulness or meditation for 15 minutes every morning and evening.

Notice how both outcome and behaviour goals are trackable? However, behaviour goals are usually more effective because they give you something to do (and track) each day. By setting behaviour goals, you have actionable steps to take on a daily or regular basis. These small habits accumulate over time and contribute to achieving your desired outcomes in a more effective and sustainable manner.

Here's a step-by-step guide to setting powerful behaviour goals today:

1. Identify one outcome you desire the most at the moment. Don't overthink it, just write it down.

2. List the skills you believe are necessary to achieve that outcome. Focus on foundational skills if you're just starting out. These are the basics that make everything else possible. For example, if time management is your goal, learning to use a calendar could be a foundational skill.

3. For each skill, write down one or two behaviours you can perform today that will help develop those skills. Start with something simple, like packing your gym bag for the following morning.

4. Commit to doing these behaviours consistently, starting today and continuing each day. Remember, if you miss a day, don't let it discourage you. Treat each day as a fresh opportunity.

5. Consider seeking guidance from a coach or subject matter expert who can assist you in making these small behaviour changes that will lead you toward your desired outcome goal.

By following these steps and focusing on the behaviours that contribute to your skills, you'll be able to make progress and move closer to achieving your desired outcomes effectively.

Wish you a wonderful, progressive and fulfilling 2024. Rise and Shine. 

All illustrations are by Kratika Singhal

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In case you missed last issue on how writing aids as a therapy, here are the key highlights:

1. Introduction to Therapeutic Journaling: The issue follows a homemaker's journey into therapy, where journaling becomes a central tool for self-reflection and expression.

2. Overcoming Writing Hurdles: Initially hesitant due to writing fears, the protagonist grapples with the idea of journaling but eventually finds its liberating nature.

3. The Complexity of Expression: It delves into the intricacies of writing, highlighting the challenge of conveying context and meaning effectively.

4. Benefits of Journaling: The issue emphasises the therapeutic benefits of journaling, such as fostering personal growth, introspection, and the freedom it offers from conventional writing constraints.

5. Empowerment through Journaling: Ultimately, the protagonist embraces journaling, experiencing its transformative power as it becomes an essential part of her therapy journey, offering empowerment and insight.

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🌟 Hitting the shelves in January, 2024 🌟

In an age overflowing with fleeting health trends, my upcoming book "Finding the Oasis" shines a light on the true essence of holistic well-being. It's not just about the absence of disease, but a harmonious blend of physical vitality, mental clarity, emotional resilience, and spiritual alignment.

This book invites you on a transformative journey, uncovering the intricate dance between body and mind. Discover the nuances of balanced nutrition, purposeful movement, rejuvenating sleep, and heartfelt connections, all while exploring mental fortitude and our bond with the environment.

"Finding the Oasis" challenges you to redefine health. Embrace a life that's not just about surviving, but truly thriving. Dive in, and uncover the deep health that awaits.

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Before you go!

Did you like this issue? If yes, consider dropping your love on the socials and sharing it with anyone who you think will benefit from it.

See you on next on the first Sunday of 2024. Take care!